Chapter 10: “Repression & Forgetting – When the Mind Closes Doors”

“What the brain hides, the soul still whispers.”

🔍 What Is Forgetting?

It’s not failure.

It’s function.

Your brain forgets to survive —

to declutter, protect, and sometimes… to heal.

Forgetting is the act of the brain deciding:

“This? Not worth holding. "Or worse: "This? Too painful to hold.”

🧠 Types of Forgetting

Let’s unbox the ways memory fades (or gets buried):

Type	Description	Example
Decay	Memory fades due to time and disuse	Forgetting names of classmates from school
Interference	New/old memories clash and overwrite	Calling your new partner by your ex’s name 😬
Retrieval Failure	It’s in there… you just can’t access it right now	“Tip-of-the-tongue” moments
Motivated Forgetting	The mind chooses to forget (often unconsciously)	Suppressing trauma or guilt

🧱 Enter: Repression – The Mind’s Emotional Firewall

Repression isn’t forgetting due to time or distraction.

It’s the brain locking away pain — trauma, grief, shame — often without you realizing.

This is unconscious forgetting.

“You don’t forget because you’re weak. You forget because your brain is trying to protect you from drowning.”

Who’s involved?

• Amygdala: Detects threat, triggers suppression

• Hippocampus: May encode hazy fragments or none at all

• Prefrontal Cortex: Helps keep the vault sealed shut

🩺 Is Repression Real?

Psychologists still debate it. But here’s what is known:

• People often can’t recall childhood trauma

• Memories can return spontaneously through therapy, sensory cues, or dreams

• Sometimes, false memories sneak in — the brain tries to fill in the gaps

It’s like finding an old room in a mansion you didn’t know you owned.

🌫️ The Cost of Repression

While useful in the short term, buried memories:

• Can fuel anxiety, nightmares, or unexplained emotional reactions

• Might affect your relationships, choices, and self-image

• Leave you feeling like something is “missing”

“What’s repressed doesn’t stay buried. It echoes in behavior, fear, and longing.”

🧠 Can You Unlock Forgotten Memories?

Tools for navigating the hidden:

• Therapy – especially trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, IFS

• Journaling – creates safe space for forgotten stories to surface

• Mindfulness – gives awareness to hidden tension, emotional blind spots

• Dream Analysis – your subconscious speaks in symbols

⚠️ Important: Not all forgotten memories need to be recalled. Sometimes, integration matters more than excavation.

🗺️ The Balance of Remembering and Letting Go

Forgetting is a gift, too.

• It allows healing

• Creates space for new memories

• Protects from emotional flooding

A wise mind doesn’t remember everything. It remembers what serves growth.

🧠 Chapter Recap

Insight	Why It Matters
Forgetting is not failure, it's functionality	Helps us filter, heal, and focus
Repression is the brain's emotional defense system	Useful short-term, costly long-term
Some memories are better understood than relived	Compassion is the key to unlocking, not force